So there you are again –

You come to and find yourself in hostile terrain;

Could be a swamp

Or a marsh

Or an underground cave

Or a mud flat

Or a dense forest riddled with brambles

Or a mountain with no path down.

You come to and you have no clue

How you got there –

All you feel is shock and panic and overwhelm;

All you feel is bruised and pained and weak.

But there you are.

You try to see a way out;

A way back to safety…

But you see nothing.

So you start to scramble and flail,

And at that point,

Down you fall…

You skid down the rubble;

Sink further into the mud;

Get tangled in the tendrils of the swamp.

And now you are not just panicked,

But evermore exhausted.

You’ve been engulfed here

A thousand times before

In the sinking quicksand,

In the storm at sea,

In the cactus spines,

In the spider’s web,

And every time you come to,

You feel like it’s the first damn time.

And it takes you time to remember…

Time to remember…

That beyond the shock and panic and overwhelm,

There is a way to start to make your journey;

Start to take your faltering steps –

Steady you take them,

Slow and steady…

And just as you start to feel your way forwards,

This voice comes from nowhere and booms,

’But haven’t you tried hot yoga?’

’Haven’t you tried

Progesterone

Low dose naltrexone

Curcumin

Cinnamon

Nettle tea

Cordyceps

CBT

MBR

EMDR

Omega 3

Homeopathy

Hypnotherapy

Somatic Experiencing

The Lightening Process?’

So there you are,

Now trying to figure out

How to get a progesterone prescription

From the middle of a flooded underground cave,

And all you can think of, is to shout back,

‘Can’t you just sing me home?

Can’t you sing me back to safety?

Can’t you just remind me there’s another side?

-That if I’ve done this a thousand times before,

I can do it now;

Even if it’s different terrain each time;

Even if it hurts each time;

You can tell me that you’re there,

You’re there waiting,

You’re there to hold me

As I return to shore.